And I'm not cutting my nails. Fuck me lah prefects. (:
I have a very sexy article to share.
Author: Chin Chen Hee, was meant for The Star but it wasn't published.
I would like to give a million thanks the government for the fantastic news brought to the whole Malaysia this New Year.
Not only do we enjoy the nice fireworks on display, we also get the chance to sip a 10 cents extra expensive PREMIUM coffee and tea to help us stay awake during New Year. The next thing we know, Sugar King is to withdraw from Malaysia.
Congratulations for the successful implement of Sugar Price Hike scheme! I'm sure the citizens would be very pleased to hear about the wonderful news and the days to come.
Year 2010 would not be the same like previous years anymore. Here are some few changes that you might want to carefully observe:
1) When you take your step into any coffee shops, you will smell the aroma of premium 2010 coffee or tea which cost 10 cents more expensive than 2009 coffee and tea. Drinking coffee or tea would be 2X fast, now with half-filled cups. The coffee aunties tailor made this to save your time drinking coffee, because they know the lesser quantity, the faster the coffee cools down. You will save time blowing on the hot beverages, and more time doing work and increasing productivity.
2) Shopping experience would never be the same again. The government has pleased to enhance your shopping experience by introducing GST scheme, or Great Shopping and Thanksgiving scheme. Get your goods at an increase price today! But don't expect an increase in quality or quantity. Should you compare 2009 goods with 2010, you will be shocked because of 2010's sophisticared technology. With the help of Nanotechnology, goods are becoming smaller, packages are becoming smaller. Even your wallets are becoming thinner!
3) Fight obesity! With the strict laws preventing canteen operators from increasing food price, they have decided to support the Fight Obesity campaign. Now, with the same price, you will get less portion of what you would receive last year. Here are some major changes in 2010 patch:
Har Mee - 2 prawns have been reduced to half prawn; Bowl three quarters filled with soup, 1 quarter noodles
Economy Rice - Plate size reduced by half; rice portion reduced to one quarter.
Packaged food - Quantity decreased by 20%; packaging reduced by 10%
With this fantastic patch and bug fix, people would surely quit any games and play the epic game of '2010'.
This is fucking epic. I lurbbex.
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